Polygamy: Permitted by God?
By Yemi Olakitan
Polygamy is generally
not acceptable in Christendom. Nevertheless, there are denominations where it
is not frown at.
Till his death, a
certain pastor (name withheld) of a major denomination in Nigeria was known
with one wife, a Lady Evangelist who was the mother of his children in
accordance with the doctrine of the church he represented. However, shortly
after his death, four mistresses, with their
children, born out of wedlock, ranging from 15 to 19 years of
age appeared at his funeral. These mistresses, who had their children for the
pastor, were shrouded in ultimate secrecy to the members of the church while he
was alive.
Another pastor, a
major figure in one of the nation’s largest denomination died in a plane crash.
Shortly after his death, it was discovered that he had a secret second wife and
children. This second wife surfaced after his death with photographs of a
traditional wedding in which the pastor appeared with the second wife. It was a
major embarrassment to the church with the GO holding a press conference
explaining the position of the church.
In a chat with Pastor
Adeyemi of Life Church, Lagos, who spoke on the subject, he said, polygamy, is
African culture and no matter how we try to impose monogamy on Africans, there
are people who will not be able to practice it. It was Christianity that
imported the culture of one man one wife, it is alien to us. The Whiteman is
known with one wife and then a mistress outside the marriage. African men are
known with polygamy. What we see today is African men trying to practice
monogamy along with the mistress culture. There are many men who claim to have
one wife publicly but they have several mistresses in secret and some of them
are men of God. This is very shameful. I personally feel that it is better for
them to be opened, let them marry this women; bring them home instead of living
a life of hypocrisy which is worse. There are advantages to monogamy and there
are disadvantages to polygamy. I don’t think Jesus will ask me how many wives I
married while on earth. I believe that he will ask me about my assignment in
life whether I fulfill it or not. If a man of God has more than one wife, he
should come out in the open instead of keeping it secret until death which is
far worse,’’ he said.
In a chat with
Superior Evangelist Oladokun J.P of the Celestial Church of Christ, Ifelodun
Parish, Lagos ‘there is no law in the celestial Church of Christ that forbids
one from marrying more than one wife, although in the bible, Apostle Paul
advised that anyone who desires the office a Bishop should be husband of one
wife. The Celestial church of Christ does not discriminate against anyone on
the basis of polygamy. The Apostle gave this advice because of the problems
that are associated to a polygamous home; one expects that the women will
quarrel. The Bishop is expected to live an exemplary and peaceful life. How can
that be if he is settling quarrels within his own household? This was why Apostle Paul gave that advice,
not as a commandment.’’
Speaking further he
said, ‘‘my personal opinion is that one wife is better; a man that is married
to one woman is likely to have a more peaceful household than a man with several
wives. I personally will encourage monogamy instead of polygamy but we do not
impose it on anyone in the Celestial Church and we don’t think that should stop
a man from doing the work of God. If we
look at the scriptures there are people who marry more than one wife, people
like Abraham, Jacob were polygamous men and God accepted them. Furthermore, African culture is about
polygamy, Christianity brought in monogamy into our lives. Don’t forget that
before the advent of Christianity our forefathers were marring more than one
wife and they do so because they were farmers and needed a large family for
their farm work. Polygamy was also a matter of prestige to them. They did not
condone adultery instead of them to commit adultery; they will rather marry the
women.’’
In another chat with
Most Senior Apostle Deji Oyenowo of the Cherubim and Seraphim Movement,
Gethsemane Garden, he opined that monogamy is preferable to polygamy. ‘I grew
up in a polygamous home and my father tried with all his might to ensure that
we all live in unity but it was not possible. It was after his death that we
were able to come together as one family but it did not happen in his life
time. In my one opinion, it is better to be a husband of one wife than to marry
many wives. However, in the constitution of the Cherubim and Seraphim Church,
it is said that polygamy should not stop a man from doing the work of God
either as an evangelist a shepherd or even a Bishop although the founder of the
church, Moses Orimolade himself was a celibate, he never married and he lived a
very pious life; devoting everything he had to the work of God. He however did
not impose this on anybody. We have to understand that traditionally Africans
marry more than one wife. Monogamy is a foreign culture so; the founder of the
Cherubim and Seraphim Church did not impose his celibate life on anyone, he did
not impose it on anybody in the church, although, in the Bible, the Apostle
Paul in the book of 1st Timothy 3, 1-12 said leaders in the church
should be husband of one wife. He also did not impose his celibate life on
anybody.
In n another chat
with, the Right Reverend Adekunle Ilesanmi Dawodu, Bishop of Kogi Diocese of
the African Church Cathedral he said the African church does not condone
polygamy. According to him anyone who has more than one wife in the African
church cannot hold a position of leadership. If he holds a position of
leadership, he will be removed. Although, in the beginning when the African
church started, one may marry more than one wife because of the prevalent
culture of the people at the time but as time goes on, the people become
enlightened to the Gospel of our Lord Jesus and now, the church forbids
polygamy. It is not acceptable in the African church at all.
Speaking with
Reverend Olamide Mobolaji Thompson of the African Church Cathedral Bethel, CMS,
Lagos, on the same subject, he said, Polygamy is not accepted in the African
church. Although, polygamy might not be regarded as sin but the things that
might be associated with it makes it a sin. For example, a polygamous family is
usually laden with infighting, quarrels and squabbles. Therefore, we cannot
accept it in the church of God. If a man has more than one wife, the church
will not send him away. Monogamy is an issue that cannot be imposed on
anyone. It his personal life but he
cannot hold a leadership position in the African church.
In another chat with Deaconess Shola Abimbola
of the Global Church of the Living God, ‘‘A Christian must be husband of one wife. In the words of the
Lord Jesus, the clearest evidence that monogamy is
God’s ideal is from Christ’s teaching on marriage is in Matt. 19:3–6.
In this passage, Jesus cited the Genesis creation account, in particular Gen. 1:27 and 2:24,
saying ‘the two will become one flesh’, not more
than two, Jesus commanded monogamy in this particular verse, she said. Speaking further, she said, an important
biblical teaching is the example of husband and wife with Christ and the Church
in Eph. 5:22–33, which makes sense only with monogamy—Jesus
cannot not have multiple brides. He was celibate.
Polygamy is expressly forbidden for
church elders (1 Tim. 3:2). And this is not just for elders, because Paul also
wrote: ‘each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
‘Paul goes on to explain marital duties in terms that make sense only with one
husband to one wife,’’ she said.
Elder Ajibola Theophilus of the
United African Church, UAMC said, ‘‘God forbade the kings of Israel
to be polygamous (Deut. 17:17).
When they disobeyed there is trouble, including rivalry between David’s sons
from his different wives (2 Samuel 13, 1 Kings 2);
and Solomon’s wives helped lead Solomon to idolatry (1 Kings 11:1–3). Jesus was celibate and he encouraged
monogamy. Abraham and Sarah were polygamous because of temptations when Hagar
became a second wife and this caused problems later. Jacob only wanted Rachel, but was tricked
into marrying her older sister Leah, and later he took their slave girls at the
sisters’ urging, due to the rivalry between the sisters. (1 Sam. 25:42–43). Polygamy is like divorce, which God tolerated
for a while because of the hardness of people’s hearts, but was not the way it
was intended from the beginning (Matt.
19:8). When the Moses Law had provisions
for polygamy, it was only conditional: ‘If he takes another
wife to himself …’ (Ex.21:10),
not an encouragement,’’ he said.
