Polygamy: Permitted by God?

Polygamy: Permitted by God?

By Yemi Olakitan 

Polygamy is generally not acceptable in Christendom. Nevertheless, there are denominations where it is not frown at.

Till his death, a certain pastor (name withheld) of a major denomination in Nigeria was known with one wife, a Lady Evangelist who was the mother of his children in accordance with the doctrine of the church he represented. However, shortly after his death, four mistresses, with their children, born out of wedlock, ranging from 15 to 19 years of age appeared at his funeral. These mistresses, who had their children for the pastor, were shrouded in ultimate secrecy to the members of the church while he was alive.

Another pastor, a major figure in one of the nation’s largest denomination died in a plane crash. Shortly after his death, it was discovered that he had a secret second wife and children. This second wife surfaced after his death with photographs of a traditional wedding in which the pastor appeared with the second wife. It was a major embarrassment to the church with the GO holding a press conference explaining the position of the church.

In a chat with Pastor Adeyemi of Life Church, Lagos, who spoke on the subject, he said, polygamy, is African culture and no matter how we try to impose monogamy on Africans, there are people who will not be able to practice it. It was Christianity that imported the culture of one man one wife, it is alien to us. The Whiteman is known with one wife and then a mistress outside the marriage. African men are known with polygamy. What we see today is African men trying to practice monogamy along with the mistress culture. There are many men who claim to have one wife publicly but they have several mistresses in secret and some of them are men of God. This is very shameful. I personally feel that it is better for them to be opened, let them marry this women; bring them home instead of living a life of hypocrisy which is worse. There are advantages to monogamy and there are disadvantages to polygamy. I don’t think Jesus will ask me how many wives I married while on earth. I believe that he will ask me about my assignment in life whether I fulfill it or not. If a man of God has more than one wife, he should come out in the open instead of keeping it secret until death which is far worse,’’ he said.

In a chat with Superior Evangelist Oladokun J.P of the Celestial Church of Christ, Ifelodun Parish, Lagos ‘there is no law in the celestial Church of Christ that forbids one from marrying more than one wife, although in the bible, Apostle Paul advised that anyone who desires the office a Bishop should be husband of one wife. The Celestial church of Christ does not discriminate against anyone on the basis of polygamy. The Apostle gave this advice because of the problems that are associated to a polygamous home; one expects that the women will quarrel. The Bishop is expected to live an exemplary and peaceful life. How can that be if he is settling quarrels within his own household?  This was why Apostle Paul gave that advice, not as a commandment.’’

Speaking further he said, ‘‘my personal opinion is that one wife is better; a man that is married to one woman is likely to have a more peaceful household than a man with several wives. I personally will encourage monogamy instead of polygamy but we do not impose it on anyone in the Celestial Church and we don’t think that should stop a man from doing the work of God.  If we look at the scriptures there are people who marry more than one wife, people like Abraham, Jacob were polygamous men and God accepted them.   Furthermore, African culture is about polygamy, Christianity brought in monogamy into our lives. Don’t forget that before the advent of Christianity our forefathers were marring more than one wife and they do so because they were farmers and needed a large family for their farm work. Polygamy was also a matter of prestige to them. They did not condone adultery instead of them to commit adultery; they will rather marry the women.’’

In another chat with Most Senior Apostle Deji Oyenowo of the Cherubim and Seraphim Movement, Gethsemane Garden, he opined that monogamy is preferable to polygamy. ‘I grew up in a polygamous home and my father tried with all his might to ensure that we all live in unity but it was not possible. It was after his death that we were able to come together as one family but it did not happen in his life time. In my one opinion, it is better to be a husband of one wife than to marry many wives. However, in the constitution of the Cherubim and Seraphim Church, it is said that polygamy should not stop a man from doing the work of God either as an evangelist a shepherd or even a Bishop although the founder of the church, Moses Orimolade himself was a celibate, he never married and he lived a very pious life; devoting everything he had to the work of God. He however did not impose this on anybody. We have to understand that traditionally Africans marry more than one wife. Monogamy is a foreign culture so; the founder of the Cherubim and Seraphim Church did not impose his celibate life on anyone, he did not impose it on anybody in the church, although, in the Bible, the Apostle Paul in the book of 1^st Timothy 3, 1-12 said leaders in the church should be husband of one wife. He also did not impose his celibate life on anybody.

In n another chat with, the Right Reverend Adekunle Ilesanmi Dawodu, Bishop of Kogi Diocese of the African Church Cathedral he said the African church does not condone polygamy. According to him anyone who has more than one wife in the African church cannot hold a position of leadership. If he holds a position of leadership, he will be removed. Although, in the beginning when the African church started, one may marry more than one wife because of the prevalent culture of the people at the time but as time goes on, the people become enlightened to the Gospel of our Lord Jesus and now, the church forbids polygamy. It is not acceptable in the African church at all.

Speaking with Reverend Olamide Mobolaji Thompson of the African Church Cathedral Bethel, CMS, Lagos, on the same subject, he said, Polygamy is not accepted in the African church. Although, polygamy might not be regarded as sin but the things that might be associated with it makes it a sin. For example, a polygamous family is usually laden with infighting, quarrels and squabbles. Therefore, we cannot accept it in the church of God. If a man has more than one wife, the church will not send him away. Monogamy is an issue that cannot be imposed on anyone.  It his personal life but he cannot hold a leadership position in the African church.

In another chat with Deaconess Shola Abimbola of the Global Church of the Living God, ‘‘A Christian must be husband of one wife. In the words of the Lord Jesus,   the clearest evidence that monogamy is God’s ideal is from Christ’s teaching on marriage is in Matt. 19:3–6. In this passage, Jesus cited the Genesis creation account, in particular Gen. 1:27 and 2:24, saying ‘the two will become one flesh’, not more than two, Jesus commanded monogamy in this particular verse, she said.    Speaking further, she said, an important biblical teaching is the example of husband and wife with Christ and the Church in Eph. 5:22–33, which makes sense only with monogamy—Jesus cannot not have multiple brides. He was celibate. 

Polygamy is expressly forbidden for church elders (1 Tim. 3:2). And this is not just for elders, because Paul also wrote: ‘each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. ‘Paul goes on to explain marital duties in terms that make sense only with one husband to one wife,’’ she said.  

Elder Ajibola Theophilus of the United African Church, UAMC said, ‘‘God forbade the kings of Israel to be polygamous (Deut. 17:17). When they disobeyed there is trouble, including rivalry between David’s sons from his different wives (2 Samuel 13, 1 Kings 2); and Solomon’s wives helped lead Solomon to idolatry (1 Kings 11:1–3).   Jesus was celibate and he encouraged monogamy. Abraham and Sarah were polygamous because of temptations when Hagar became a second wife and this caused problems later.  Jacob only wanted Rachel, but was tricked into marrying her older sister Leah, and later he took their slave girls at the sisters’ urging, due to the rivalry between the sisters. (1 Sam. 25:42–43).  Polygamy is like divorce, which God tolerated for a while because of the hardness of people’s hearts, but was not the way it was intended from the beginning (Matt. 19:8). When the Moses Law had provisions for polygamy, it was only conditional: ‘If he takes another wife to himself …’ (Ex.21:10), not an encouragement,’’ he said.