Friday, 11 December 2015

What to do when sex is dull in your marriage





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Is your sex life in a rut? This is a question that every couple would need to answer at some point, no matter how good its sex life is at the moment. One of the biggest challenges that couples who have succeeded in evolving a mutually satisfactory sex life always face is monotony. When monotony sets in, complacency follows and these two are always bad news. Couples need to make periodic appraisals of their sex lives to either prevent monotony or kick it out. Sex can be dull or monotonous in Marriages. It can even die altogether. A woman visits a counsellor to complain that a husband, a Professor hardly have time for sex. According to her they do it, once or twice a year!


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In this kind of relationship, the marriage is about to die unless urgent action is taken. Sex is very crucial in a relationship. Generally, after a period of passion, things cool down for most couples. When this happens, it should not be viewed with any form of alarm. It is natural for things to cool down a bit when the newness of a new relationship begins to wear off. But couples must never let their passion fade away. They should put up creativity and effort. However, some individuals get so entangled in career pursuits that sex begin to slip into the most remote corners of the mind or they completely lose interest in it after years of marriage. This should not be.

Communication is key. You can reignite your sex life and stay hot for each other once you notice that the waves are ebbing. The good thing is that you can do this on a continual basis. What your sex life needs is a little variation in the way you do things. You can go on a vacation together, just the two of you without the kids. A change of environment often ignite fresh passion. It is important to call about this things. Lack of communication is often the first killer of passion. Express love to each other as often as you can.

Relaxing on the sofa together, Sharing a warm bath or gentle rhythmic massage prior to sex can also bind souls. Also couples need to explore the latent power of kisses more. The good thing about kissing is that even when you don’t feel like doing it, once you start, you may find yourself getting into the flow rather quickly. That peck on the cheek whenever you stumble into one another in those few private places in the house, should be turned into full blown sensual kisses that would make you do passionate things. Never for one think that passion of yesteryears is gone forever, it is still in there. All you need to do is awaken it.  

Elections in Nigeria: INEC and Bayelsa in perspective



Elections in Nigeria: INEC and Bayelsa in perspective

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Elections in Nigeria now seems to be a war between two political parties.  The Bayelsa State governorship election  really is an example. According to reports, the elections was marred by both verbal and physical fights among their supporters. A lot of violence actions were recorded, killing of innocent citizens who came out to vote, even  the abduction of electoral officials and ballot box snatching in Southern Ijaw Local Government Area  one of the state’s eight LGAs. It was also recorded that past President Goodluck Jonathan and his wife’s first attempt at accreditation at about 8:45a.m was unsuccessful on account of malfunctioning card readers.

it was recorded that when elections could not be concluded in Southern Ijaw it had to be continued on the Sunday which as at around 12.46pm PDP raised an alert that APC plot to rig the election. The leadership of (PDP) said that the APC and the military have connived to rig the elections in Southern Ijaw.

We need to pray for a day we have a peaceful voting in Nigeria. So from the results recovered, what’s the current status of the election saga?  According to reports out of the eight local governments in Bayelsa state, seven LGA’s has been collated and PDP leads in six while APC only won in one which is the Brass LGA where the APC candidate hails from. Even at that INEC have declared the election inconclusive because of what happened at Ijaw South LGA, so we all keep our fingers crossed and watch.


 INEC! Inconclusive election again? The trends this morning tagged INEC as “inconclusive electoral committee”. How true is that?
There is need to improve and get the citizens a better way and method of voting without stories, its time government provide them with good securities, equipments.

Why are Women anxious that they are not Married?






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Why are Women anxious that they are not Married?

Yemi Olakitan
A Nigerian woman had been single for years and she was becoming anxious. She soon met a man online who promised her heaven on earth. If she could relocate to Brazil to marry him. She did and he turned out to be a drug baron and a violent man.
 In the news lately, A man was said to have locked his dying wife in her room seized her phone so she could not call and went out with their two children. On arrival he met his wife foaming in the mouth. She demanded to be taken to a hospital, but her husband declined, and gave her palm oil instead. He then videoed her for about 40 minutes before she gave up the ghost. Prior to the incident, the husband had subjected the deceased to inhuman treatment for the four years of their marriage in South Africa. 

  This is one of the problems of marrying people based abroad without knowing them. Most times u hear people say my husband to-be husband is abroad and then the guy comes marries her, takes her away and the main issues start up. Courtship is very important, it enables you know who you are getting involved with.


Another problem is many women are anxious to get married to the extent that they enter marriage with their eyes closed. Don't be anxious that you aren't married; rather, pray and watch that you fall not into the hands of devils. Why are some women anxious that they are now married?

Many women are anxious that they are not married because in Nigerian culture, marriage is the almighty in a woman's life. To the extent that they married the wrong man or continue to stay in a marriage even when the marriage is toxic. No! This is wrong. it is better to be alive and single than to be married to a demon. Women should never let someone get comfortable  abusing and disrespecting them. Women must run from such relationships before they lose their lives.
The woman saw all the warning signs that this man was no more her man and husband. she received all the beatings but stayed endured all the abuses coming to her in the name of having a husband and staying married. What is it about marriage that will make a woman put her life on the line to be with a man who clearly has shown disdain towards her, almost all similar cases of this nature ends in the death of the women.

Monday, 28 September 2015

Why do many successful women remain single



Why do many successful women remain single
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Yetunde, a successful career woman, highly intelligent, beautiful and educated, 43 years of age, single  and searching.  Why?  Why do we have so many single Nigerian women, doing well in their various fields with no husbands.  This could be a big problem in the Nigerian society as our  culture places a lot of value on being married particularly if one is a woman.  Should marriage determine a woman's happiness or unhappiness. Are all married women happy? Are all single women miserable ?  Why are there so many great, beautiful single women out there looking for love, but not being able to find it or only find married men!

If by the time you graduate from school, everyone of your classmates has already been paired off like animals on Noah’s Ark by the time the last year rolls around, and within the next 5 years you hear a flurry of engagements, weddings, and even babies popping out in record time but your still remain single because your last two dates did not lead to marriage and so was the ones before the last. Your parents will start calling you for special family meetings and prayers and if you are unlucky to have come from a very religious backgrounds, you could be classified as a victim of witchcraft forces. You have to go for special prayers and deliverance.  What is the best approach to this problem? Should marriage determine a person's happiness?

When this problem is mentioned, people say, it’s because the women are too choosy, which is the reason why they basically choose to be single. Others, cite that it’s because the women are too successful (career-wise and financially), too intelligent or too beautiful and therefore too intimidating to men in general.

If smart girls have dated guys and still haven’t really clicked or found anyone, then they’re choosing to stay single rather than be with someone they’re not 100% happy with. I believe that marriage is not necessarily the only source of happiness for anyone. Happiness is internal not external. It should come from within you and not outside you.

First, why must any human being be defined by his or her marital status? Is an unmarried woman less of a human being than a married one? Even the Bible makes it clear that marriage is voluntary. Unless you accept other texts that seek to explain Jesus Christ’s earthly life. He was single.

‘Marriage is the crowning glory of a woman.’ ‘A woman without a husband is incomplete.’ You hear these statements from our parents. This reveals one factor about the typical Nigerian, he is largely bound to his ancestors’ way of life. This is not necessarily bad because one must have roots with which to grow in the world. However, in the days of old, polygamy was the norm and hardly any woman was found without a husband. Today, the popularity of polygamy has waned even among Muslims. How should single unmarried career Nigerian women cope with the pressure from family and society.

"I Was Carried Upstairs to Attend Class": Change Leader’s Viral Video Exposes Nigeria’s Failing Disability Infrastructure

  Adaobi Chuma-Okeke , an Nguvu Change Leader , has a video which is gaining attention online.  In the video,  she recounts her struggles as...