Monday, 28 September 2015

Why do many successful women remain single



Why do many successful women remain single
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Yetunde, a successful career woman, highly intelligent, beautiful and educated, 43 years of age, single  and searching.  Why?  Why do we have so many single Nigerian women, doing well in their various fields with no husbands.  This could be a big problem in the Nigerian society as our  culture places a lot of value on being married particularly if one is a woman.  Should marriage determine a woman's happiness or unhappiness. Are all married women happy? Are all single women miserable ?  Why are there so many great, beautiful single women out there looking for love, but not being able to find it or only find married men!

If by the time you graduate from school, everyone of your classmates has already been paired off like animals on Noah’s Ark by the time the last year rolls around, and within the next 5 years you hear a flurry of engagements, weddings, and even babies popping out in record time but your still remain single because your last two dates did not lead to marriage and so was the ones before the last. Your parents will start calling you for special family meetings and prayers and if you are unlucky to have come from a very religious backgrounds, you could be classified as a victim of witchcraft forces. You have to go for special prayers and deliverance.  What is the best approach to this problem? Should marriage determine a person's happiness?

When this problem is mentioned, people say, it’s because the women are too choosy, which is the reason why they basically choose to be single. Others, cite that it’s because the women are too successful (career-wise and financially), too intelligent or too beautiful and therefore too intimidating to men in general.

If smart girls have dated guys and still haven’t really clicked or found anyone, then they’re choosing to stay single rather than be with someone they’re not 100% happy with. I believe that marriage is not necessarily the only source of happiness for anyone. Happiness is internal not external. It should come from within you and not outside you.

First, why must any human being be defined by his or her marital status? Is an unmarried woman less of a human being than a married one? Even the Bible makes it clear that marriage is voluntary. Unless you accept other texts that seek to explain Jesus Christ’s earthly life. He was single.

‘Marriage is the crowning glory of a woman.’ ‘A woman without a husband is incomplete.’ You hear these statements from our parents. This reveals one factor about the typical Nigerian, he is largely bound to his ancestors’ way of life. This is not necessarily bad because one must have roots with which to grow in the world. However, in the days of old, polygamy was the norm and hardly any woman was found without a husband. Today, the popularity of polygamy has waned even among Muslims. How should single unmarried career Nigerian women cope with the pressure from family and society.

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